Tuesday, August 28, 2012

A series of random thoughts

It's been a while (again.) Hi. How's things?

Okay, I don't like to post personal posts on Facebook. I try to keep my feelings about people who have died, my personal problems, political issues (although that one slips out some) to myself and keep my feed posts to random silly thoughts and updates on my theatre events. I think Facebook is silly and a way of promoting community so I try to keep to that. This is not a judgement on anyone who shares more. At all. I just don't think it is for me. I talk too much as it is and as I get older I realize that my personal life and feelings and other people's private secrets are not everyone else's business. I say this because I will probably post this link on Facebook for my friends to read. If strangers read it, sorry for the overshare.

I blog (once every few months) because it feels good to write stuff down. I'm not a journaler. I had a brief period in my early 20's when I wrote regularly about my feelings but I just don't anymore. Something about writing it down and letting it go out into the world feels scary and nice. It's also a nice break from grant research which monumentally hurts my brain. Also, I wish we lived in Canada. I google "theatre, general operating, grants" and 9,000 grants for Arts in Canada pops up.
Canada rocks.

I am at home working because I am having some health issues and I'm in a bit of pain. The short version is that I have some non-cancerous tumors in my uterus and I'm having surgery on September 26th. I've had a rough time for a while and it's nice to know that indeed something IS wrong with me and perhaps after surgery I will feel much better. I'm not nervous about the surgery and looking forward to it being over. I will say that sometimes tumors hurt a lot and despite what some brilliant minds may say my reproductive system does not have the ability to shut that whole thing down. .
Speaking of which, as a teenager I always wished it was the 1960's. Hippies and free love and poetry and crazy art and kick ass music. Now, thanks to the GOP and their views of female reproductive rights, it IS like the 60's. Thanks guys. I can only assume they are functioning under the belief that their brains are in their pants. My brain is in my head. Thanks.

I am really hoping that my yo-yo, haggered, tired shit will mellow a bit once my body stops fighting the aliens in my body. I would like a renewal of energy, motivation, and balance. Even if the surgery doesn't do this physically, I am hoping it does psychologically. Mind over matter. I'm tired of feeling tired.


                                             This is me tired, but for good reasons (camping.)


Okay, upon reflection, I will not post this on Facebook. Just letting some thoughts out.

Kisses.