There is this line in Cameron Crowe's movie Say Anything... that I think about a lot. Lloyd tells his depressed and angry sister, "Just be happy. How hard is it to just be happy?"
How hard is it really?
I've been a little angry lately. I won't go into it because it is boring but what a waste of time. Being angry. Or bitter. Or self-important. I took my problems and held them close and wrapped my arms around them and looked only in. And I got mad.
It took a little trip to Europe to find some perspective but I think I found it.
This woman alone gives me perspective.
What if I just opened my arms up and let the shit fly. Maybe something gets dropped. Maybe someone catches some of it. Maybe someone says they will catch it and then they don't and then I am disappointed but I'm done being angry about it. Being angry is dumb. I was holding things too closely and it was making me self righteous and sour. Truthfully, I wasn't doing that great of a job at anything anyway because I held too much in arms.
I couldn't open the door with all that shit I was holding.
I don't know for sure if I can sustain this feeling. If I can make this feeling action. But I am going to try. What is the point of walking around on this earth if you're not happy. I mean REALLY happy? Aaron's brother and his wife were in town last night. I love these two. We don't see each other often but when we do it is so fun and it feels joyful. Stacie (my sister in law, who I adore) always says how happy Aaron and I look. Because we are happy. We have a good life with a lot of joy. I'm not saying shit doesn't get hard but I don't think I need to hold it so close to myself anymore. I'm buried in my phone, angry about an e-mail while Aaron is standing in front of me waiting for a hug. What? That is dumb.
Attitude adjustment commencing.
It's lovely how a trip away can help you find your center. Krakow and Prague were lovely. Time with my husband was awesome. Seeing old friends is always great but made extraordinary when you spend time with them and realize how fabulous they are doing. What cool and amazing people they are.
Seriously. These women are goddesses.
I have blisters from walking so much, an extra 5 pounds from eating and drinking, and the best stories and memories. Here are two:
1. We are all downstairs at a cafe and I order a piece of honey cake. It comes and starts its journey around the table. When it gets to Katy she says, "What is that I'm tasting in there that is so great? What is that...? Oh. Right. It is honey."
2. Kate and I are having a girl's day out and as we walk down the stairs to the metro, a man stops us with a gold circle thing in his hand and says something in Czech. Kate says, "No thank you. We don't want to buy anything." and starts to move around him and he steps in front and says. "Police."
Oh. Right. You would like to see our metro tickets.
Tiny moments. Both made me explode into laughter. There was an enormous amount of genuine laughter and smiling for two weeks straight. It was rad.
Also, sometimes when I travel I think I should start a blog about all the things I learn while traveling. Small things that make a difference like choice of shoes or how arriving early in a city can be hard because you might not be able to check in early and will be stuck wandering around. This trip I learned that people give horrible directions. They know the city and will say, "Oh just get off the metro and go right. You'll see it." No, no I won't see it because every street sign is in Czech and right is relative to which way you exit the metro. Make sure you have directions or Google maps on your phone or gps or whatever or you will get frustrated and yell at your sweet husband on the street. And really he has a pretty good sense of direction. On that note, traveling with someone you adore and love being with helps a lot. Every situation is amazing or tolerable because of who is standing next to you. A good lesson.
Standing together.
A good day to begin again.
How hard is it really?
I've been a little angry lately. I won't go into it because it is boring but what a waste of time. Being angry. Or bitter. Or self-important. I took my problems and held them close and wrapped my arms around them and looked only in. And I got mad.
It took a little trip to Europe to find some perspective but I think I found it.
This woman alone gives me perspective.
What if I just opened my arms up and let the shit fly. Maybe something gets dropped. Maybe someone catches some of it. Maybe someone says they will catch it and then they don't and then I am disappointed but I'm done being angry about it. Being angry is dumb. I was holding things too closely and it was making me self righteous and sour. Truthfully, I wasn't doing that great of a job at anything anyway because I held too much in arms.
I couldn't open the door with all that shit I was holding.
I don't know for sure if I can sustain this feeling. If I can make this feeling action. But I am going to try. What is the point of walking around on this earth if you're not happy. I mean REALLY happy? Aaron's brother and his wife were in town last night. I love these two. We don't see each other often but when we do it is so fun and it feels joyful. Stacie (my sister in law, who I adore) always says how happy Aaron and I look. Because we are happy. We have a good life with a lot of joy. I'm not saying shit doesn't get hard but I don't think I need to hold it so close to myself anymore. I'm buried in my phone, angry about an e-mail while Aaron is standing in front of me waiting for a hug. What? That is dumb.
Attitude adjustment commencing.
It's lovely how a trip away can help you find your center. Krakow and Prague were lovely. Time with my husband was awesome. Seeing old friends is always great but made extraordinary when you spend time with them and realize how fabulous they are doing. What cool and amazing people they are.
Seriously. These women are goddesses.
I have blisters from walking so much, an extra 5 pounds from eating and drinking, and the best stories and memories. Here are two:
1. We are all downstairs at a cafe and I order a piece of honey cake. It comes and starts its journey around the table. When it gets to Katy she says, "What is that I'm tasting in there that is so great? What is that...? Oh. Right. It is honey."
2. Kate and I are having a girl's day out and as we walk down the stairs to the metro, a man stops us with a gold circle thing in his hand and says something in Czech. Kate says, "No thank you. We don't want to buy anything." and starts to move around him and he steps in front and says. "Police."
Oh. Right. You would like to see our metro tickets.
Tiny moments. Both made me explode into laughter. There was an enormous amount of genuine laughter and smiling for two weeks straight. It was rad.
Also, sometimes when I travel I think I should start a blog about all the things I learn while traveling. Small things that make a difference like choice of shoes or how arriving early in a city can be hard because you might not be able to check in early and will be stuck wandering around. This trip I learned that people give horrible directions. They know the city and will say, "Oh just get off the metro and go right. You'll see it." No, no I won't see it because every street sign is in Czech and right is relative to which way you exit the metro. Make sure you have directions or Google maps on your phone or gps or whatever or you will get frustrated and yell at your sweet husband on the street. And really he has a pretty good sense of direction. On that note, traveling with someone you adore and love being with helps a lot. Every situation is amazing or tolerable because of who is standing next to you. A good lesson.
Standing together.
A good day to begin again.
