Melancholy

Fall is here! Hurrah! I love it when it gets a little colder. I like Halloween and Thanksgiving. I like boots and sweaters. I like it all.

It also means 2012 is almost over. Stupid 2012. You have not been so good to me. No offense.

How does one turn their luck around? Elsa tells me to put my wants and hopes out into the universe and then it will give it back. Erin told me to watch this documentary about making shit happen (I still haven't.) It's not like things are terrible or something but they haven't quite gone as I'd hoped. Little things, bigger things... life's okay and then something kinda sucky will happen.

Aaron and I finished watching the mini-series Mildred Pierce last night (damn you're so awesome Kate Winslet!) I would rather be me than Mildred. So I got that going for me, I guess.

I did decide to do something radical with my life recently and I went ahead and quit my second job. I've been working halftime for 6 years as the Administrative Director at Albuquerque Preschool Cooperative. I love the school and the people and it has been truly a joy to work there. I'm leaving to work only at Tricklock. ONLY work my theatre job. Whoa. Crazypants. No, Tricklock did not suddenly come into a shit ton of money. Aaron and I will have to get creative about our budget but I think we can do it. I cannot wait to work ONE job. Will I actually be able to finish things on time? Will I sleep better? Will I accomplish most of what I want to accomplish? Will I actually get to spend more time with my husband? The answer is yes. I have decided. YES.

My last day is in late spring and then Aaron and I leave for our epic Europe trip. See you soon Prague.

                                                    We really do like each other

I recently finished book one of yet another vampire/werewolves/wizards book for teenagers. I think instead of picking up book number two I will spend the fall reading depressing, heartbreaking books. I quite like books like this. A little Larry Brown or William Faulkner (maybe I just like southern writers?)  I'll just embrace the difficulties, the season, the year. Look upward, push forward but also read this Cormac McCarthy book Drew gave me.

Healing, healing, healing...still healing. Things are going very well on that front. Feeling better every day. I did have to step out of an acrobatic move in the new show. Drew had to step in (speaking of Drew.) I just didn't think I'd be up for the challenge before we opened. I'm getting it back though.

NEW SHOW!!! Opens this Thursday. I really, really, really like it. It is weird, dark, funny, and strange. Come see it! It's called Finger Mouth and I'll be all over FB with it here soon. Yesterday was our long tech day and it was so much fun. Just Hannah, Nando, Alex, and me working away. It reminded me of early Tricklock days. We were laughing and working and getting shit done. We stopped mid day for burgers and beers and then we went back to work. It was a great day. I can't wait to continue the journey of this show.

I hope October is treating you well. Cheers. xo



 

Nothing. Sup with you?

I posted an update on Facebook because I had quite a few e-mails and FB messages asking how I was so I thought a post would let everyone know. Only not everyone knows I had surgery so I ended up with a bunch of "what's up?" questions. Hi friends. Thanks for caring.

On Wednesday the 26th I had a robotic myomectomy. Basically I had some non-cancerous tumors inside me and a robot went in and took them out. One was about 2 inches, one was the size of a peach, and one was the size of a large orange. Yikes. If you read my previous blog you know about how I was feeling but basically it was bad. Big tumors inside you are bad. For about a year I was exhausted, bloated, lethargic, in pain, crabby, etc. I've been pretty miserable for a while. My mom came into town to help take care of me (she rocks!) and she and my husband took me in at 5:30am for my 3 hour surgery.

I'm five days out and I already feel like a new woman! I still have a pretty sharp, burning pain in one of my incisions (I have five small ones) as it heals but my other pain is gone, my head feels clearer, and I just feel happier. Hurrah! I'm looking forward to getting my freaking life back.

Some things I learned:
1. I have amazing dexterity in my toes. I can't bend over and pick anything up so I pick things up with my toes.
2. My floor gets really dirty with two cats and a dog if I can't bend over every minute and pick shit up.
3. An efficient, all business nurse is better when you're in pain than a friendly chit-chatty nurse. Thanks Nurse Denise for my night in the hospital.
4. Laughing hurts when you are trying to heal from abdomen surgery.
5. My husband is really funny.

I have two teleconferences today and rehearsal tomorrow night but Wednesday will be my first big day back.  Bring it on. I never knew I could miss the gym so much.

                       Me in my messy bed. I've been watching a lot of movies and Law and Order reruns.



Some other things that have been happening in case you were wondering...

I turned 40. I went to Curacao (a tiny island off the coast of Venezuela) with 8 amazing friends. We swam, snorkeled, ate, drank, and basically had a rad time. On my birthday proper I was stung pretty badly by a jellyfish. Aside from having the normal horrible experience of jellyfish venom, I also had a severe allergic reaction which involved a high speed trip to medical help. I don't actually really remember much about the night but I've heard the story and it involved phrases like, "The paramedics starting treating you for cardiac arrest" and "and then you turned blue." It was scary and I do remember thinking I was going to die. For real. I have the most amazing friends ever who rallied and did everything they could to save me and to help Hannah and Katy who had also been stung and were in bad shape. Most of all, I am certain that my incredible husband saved my life. His quick thinking and calm care saved me. I'm sure of it. He also has PTSD from the experience. I owe him some foot rubs for sure. If you want to read a better story about this trip read this: http://www.nosignsinenglish.com/2012/09/what-i-learned-on-vacation.html

I am opening a new play in 4 weeks! It is called Finger Mouth and it is loosely based on hysteria and medical treatments in the 1800's in France. It was a rough start but the past few months have been amazing. Really joyful creation. It is a weird show. It's funny but dark with shadow puppets and other strange things. It may not be everyone's cup of tea but I am super proud of it. It's been a while since I made something like this and I can't wait to open it.

I am shifting my work life. I can't really go into right now but I will be focusing in on one job and I am super excited. It should relieve some of the heavy stress and pressure I have and will allow for true direction. I'll write more about this when I can.

Other than that I plan on enjoying the fall and am looking forward to the new year! We're doing a few things around the house. I plan to pick back up my workout routine. We're thinking of heading to Seattle for the holidays and are planning our epic trip to Europe this spring.

Good things are on the horizon. Out with the yucky, in with the good.
Breathe. Open. Yes.

Here we go.