I'll be honest. This is a little scary.
Look. I just don't use Facebook to express my personal feelings.
My rage. My sadness. My loss.
I just don't.
A loved one's death.
A difficult divorce.
A health crisis.
A political situation.
I don't talk about how sad I am when a celebrity dies. I don't because I think it's fucking weird.
I was sad when I heard James Gandolfini died. I love The Sopranos. I felt like he was a friend. I felt sadness. But I didn't KNOW him. I'm not going to post about how "heartbroken" I am. I didn't KNOW him. I have been heartbroken before. I was not this.
I have unfortunately had many people in my life die. Young people. Cancer, murder, accidents, suicide, heart attacks. All people gone too soon. I've watched people appropriate the pain. A distant acquaintance becomes a dear friend in death. I assume it is because they need a little extra to navigate the concept. Death is hard. It's sad. It's shocking, even when you prepare. You sit by the bed and look into their eyes. You say goodbye. They die. You sit by their dead body, under a sheet, you hold their cold hand. You say goodbye again.
It's still awful. It's sad. It's confusing. It's unfair.
It's also personal.
At least it is for me. I like to keep things close.
People get on Facebook and they talk about things. I don't so much. I push theatre stuff. I make a funny observation. I post travel photos. If I do open up, I try to keep it light.
I don't talk about the personal stuff.
A loved one's death.
A difficult divorce.
A health crisis.
A political situation.
The horrendous racism and injustice that is happening in my own country.
People are screaming. Some of them are asking that I scream too. Not overtly. No one has said, "Dammit Juli, do something for fuck's sake." but it's there. And not everyone is the same. People want different things, of course. But I do get the sense that people would like more.
So if you really want to know...
I am super angry. I think what is happening in our country is just disgusting. I think there is a huge group of people here in the good ol' USA that are just hateful, evil, psychopathic, racist, sexist, greed filled monsters. They are destroying things rapidly. And they are breeding more like them. They are creating some who move covertly through the landscape so they're harder to find. They criticize our super moderate president using words like economy and executive orders but really they just mean,
"I hate you because you are black."
And I'll be honest. I do not know what to do.
I make theatre. What is happening is making its way into the work. I hope this will make a difference. I run an international theatre festival that focuses on cultural exchange. I hope this will open hearts and minds and create world connection. I travel and try to connect with people. I teach. I write.
What else can I do? I'd be happy to protest (does this work?) I don't have very much money or I'd support foundations that help. I'd be be happy to write letters. I just...I don't know what to do.
What do we do?
Look. I just don't use Facebook to express my personal feelings.
My rage. My sadness. My loss.
I just don't.
A loved one's death.
A difficult divorce.
A health crisis.
A political situation.
I don't talk about how sad I am when a celebrity dies. I don't because I think it's fucking weird.
I was sad when I heard James Gandolfini died. I love The Sopranos. I felt like he was a friend. I felt sadness. But I didn't KNOW him. I'm not going to post about how "heartbroken" I am. I didn't KNOW him. I have been heartbroken before. I was not this.
I have unfortunately had many people in my life die. Young people. Cancer, murder, accidents, suicide, heart attacks. All people gone too soon. I've watched people appropriate the pain. A distant acquaintance becomes a dear friend in death. I assume it is because they need a little extra to navigate the concept. Death is hard. It's sad. It's shocking, even when you prepare. You sit by the bed and look into their eyes. You say goodbye. They die. You sit by their dead body, under a sheet, you hold their cold hand. You say goodbye again.
It's still awful. It's sad. It's confusing. It's unfair.
It's also personal.
At least it is for me. I like to keep things close.
People get on Facebook and they talk about things. I don't so much. I push theatre stuff. I make a funny observation. I post travel photos. If I do open up, I try to keep it light.
I don't talk about the personal stuff.
A loved one's death.
A difficult divorce.
A health crisis.
A political situation.
The horrendous racism and injustice that is happening in my own country.
People are screaming. Some of them are asking that I scream too. Not overtly. No one has said, "Dammit Juli, do something for fuck's sake." but it's there. And not everyone is the same. People want different things, of course. But I do get the sense that people would like more.
So if you really want to know...
I am super angry. I think what is happening in our country is just disgusting. I think there is a huge group of people here in the good ol' USA that are just hateful, evil, psychopathic, racist, sexist, greed filled monsters. They are destroying things rapidly. And they are breeding more like them. They are creating some who move covertly through the landscape so they're harder to find. They criticize our super moderate president using words like economy and executive orders but really they just mean,
"I hate you because you are black."
And I'll be honest. I do not know what to do.
I make theatre. What is happening is making its way into the work. I hope this will make a difference. I run an international theatre festival that focuses on cultural exchange. I hope this will open hearts and minds and create world connection. I travel and try to connect with people. I teach. I write.
What else can I do? I'd be happy to protest (does this work?) I don't have very much money or I'd support foundations that help. I'd be be happy to write letters. I just...I don't know what to do.
What do we do?
No comments:
Post a Comment