Amsterdam to Kiev and all the love in between

****** I wrote this blog several days ago but was unable to post it. SO MUCH HAPPENED BETWEEN NOW AND THEN! I will leave this blog as is and end with some new updates.

“I pretty much live my life jumping from one moment of laughing to another moment of laughing. I just can’t remember the bits in between very well. “  -Katy Houska

I am on a train traveling from Amsterdam to Kiev. In case geography is hard, that is a pretty long ride. We do Amsterdam to Berlin, change trains and travel to Prague, change trains and take a sleeper car to Kiev. I love a train. It’s so lovely to watch the world from a train. Our seats now (we are in Germany) are facing a way that requires us to travel backwards. It’s not Aaron’s favorite, but I don’t mind.

New York was great. As always. Our show went well and awesome people came to see it and we all hung out after. It’s such a great city. I love being there. I was sitting at Washington Square Park, people watching and listening. I always learn about myself when I am in New York. I fall in love with humankind and my heart swells to be a part of it. It struck me that New York is Donald Trump’s home. How on earth can he live in New York, such a rich and diverse tapestry of people from all over the world, and be such a hateful, racist monster? How is that possible? I just don’t understand.  I don’t want to talk about politics in this blog. I have A LOT of thoughts. It’s been rough to be on social media so much promoting the tour. It’s hard to not get sucked into the headlines or comments on people’s page. I don’t want to engage right now. For one, having a mean and divisive “conservation” through a comment feed is never going to change someone’s mind. But it was hard to ignore all of the comments on Doug’s page about how “it isn’t about gender.”  Ugh. I’ll blog soon about HRC.

It is fascinating to be touring while all of this is going on. I can’t wait to hear what people think of this crazy. I should just make a shirt that says, “I AM SORRY ABOUT TRUMP. I DON’T UNDERSTAND EITHER!” It has been nice to catch up on the speeches from the DNC. So many beautiful and inspiring moments. I am holding faith that a little more than half the people in the US are kind, thoughtful people who want to help others and see themselves as a world citizen. Fingers crossed.

I haven’t been sleeping very well. Jetlag, I know, but it’s been a little worse than normal. I have bouts of troubled sleeping brought on by anxiety. It’s usually money related. Running a non-profit is hard. Being responsible for all the bills is stressful. Back home, I sometimes wake up in the middle of the night, heart racing with thoughts of “How are we going to get through the month?”  I have a little bit of this going on so last night instead of reading my scary apocalypse novel, I started re-reading Yes Please by Amy Poehler. FIGURE OUT WHAT YOU WANT. SAY IT LOUD. THEN SHUT UP.  She’s the best. I also watched the movie “Sisters” on the plane and it is funny and the cast is awesome. I also watched “The Lobster” which is super weird and AMAZING. What the fuck? Have you seen that movie?

We had a minibreak in Amsterdam so that Aaron and Katy could finish shooting some scenes for the movie. Amsterdam is so pretty. Bikes and canals and slanted houses and windmills. Sigh… Also, pancakes with savory things baked in them are delicious.  It is still a dream to retire part of the year there. At least visit for chunks of time as we can.

Alex, Hannah, and Erin are already in Ukraine and apparently, it is incredible. I can’t wait to get there!

****** THREE DAYS LATER…

I am here. We will blog properly about Ukraine on the Tricklock blog but what a powerful place. If you don’t know the history of Ukraine or the recent things that have been happening here, you should look it up. It is heartbreaking and overwhelming. I was in the square yesterday and imagining the photos I had seen from only two years ago, in this same exact spot. Rubble and fires, protesters and military, I think about Mariana talking about the piano that the artists rolled out and played in the midst of it all. I think about the flag that was held up amidst the bombing that said, “You are beautiful.” Also, this city is lovely. The architecture is amazing. The churches, oh THE CHURCHES!

If you are my friend on Facebook you probably know that we traveled by train for 48 hours. We were on one train from Prague to Kiev for 35 hours straight (one break to grab food.) It was crazy. I knew it seemed like a fast trip for the distance, but I was overwhelmed with planning this tour. Twelve people, three cities, three different shows, plus workshops, insurance, budgets, reports, PR, taking care of home, etc. It’s a lot. When I saw the itinerary for 26 hours I thought, that sounds fine. There was no arrival date so it looked like a trip that left early in the morning and arrived early the next morning.

It arrived early TWO mornings later. Ahhhh. Gotcha.

The discovery moment when the train conductor is showing us the long list of stations along the way and making a circle with his finger like a clock and says in English, “24 hours” in his thick Russian accent was a shocking moment. Katy looked back at me with disbelief and the Polrail email that said something about a two day trip (that I thought was another trip I didn’t buy) comes flooding back to me. Katy, Drew, Aaron, and I made the best of it. The train was hot. It was cramped. It was not comfortable. I always look for the lesson. What is the universe teaching me?  Here are the things I learned:

1. People are kind. The Slovakian guy in the next car who was helping us translate Russia as best he could watched our shock, horror, and disappointment take place in real time. I said, “24 more hours? We don’t have any food.” This man gave us his bag of food. Meat and cheese and bread and two beers. We said, “No, no, we can’t possibly take your food.” He said, “Of course you can. I am almost home. Take it and eat it. It is okay.” This is one example of a series of things that people did to help us along the way.

2. Sometimes you get a gift at just the right moment. About 30 minutes after our discovery, the train conductor helped us to understand that at the next station we would have almost an hour stop. This station had an ATM and a grocery store. We pulled out money and bought food and water. There was not another stop like this the entire rest of the trip. If we were stopped  for a long time it was in the middle of nowhere. If we were at a good station, we only stopped for 5 minutes. That stop and station was our one and only combination and it came right after our discovery. It made the train ride much better.

3. My privilege is a luxury that most people don’t have. I went to use the bathroom in the train and the seat is broken and there is no toilet paper and there is a bloody rag in the trash and it smells strongly of pee (I am not a person who is bothered by much. Years of taking care of small children, I can take almost anything, but the smell of pee is gross) and I thought to myself, a huge number of people in the world live like this every day. Not necessarily on a train, but my clean bathroom back home and my comfortable bed and the food in my fridge, and the water that I can drink that runs from a faucet in my home is a fucking luxury and I should never, ever take it for granted.

4. Pay attention to details. UGH. If I had just taken a breath and read the email properly and asked one question and waited for an answer we would have known about our train trip. I got frazzled and busy. Slow down. Calm down. Deep breaths.

So, now we are here. All of Tricklock is here. We open tomorrow. More soon.